The Way Back Machine...A Convert's Story
J.M.J. + O.B.T. + M.G.R.*
The following account is a quick
transcription of a jewel of a find.
CLICK HERE
CATHOLIC RESEARCH
In the Catholic Archives, there is the 1831 first issue
of The Catholic Telegraph, out of Cincinnati, OH
and it featured this compelling tale of vice and virtue.
I tried to stay as true to the original text
as this pdf original allowed.
Imitate Mary
Become like Jesus
Live for the Triune God
Seek the Light of Our Lord Jesus Christ
See you on the High Ground!
* - J.M.J. + O.B.T. + M.G.R. stands for:
Jesus, Mary and Joseph;
O Beata Trinitas;
St. Michael, St. Gabriel and St. Raphael
The following account is a quick
transcription of a jewel of a find.
CLICK HERE
CATHOLIC RESEARCH
In the Catholic Archives, there is the 1831 first issue
of The Catholic Telegraph, out of Cincinnati, OH
and it featured this compelling tale of vice and virtue.
I tried to stay as true to the original text
as this pdf original allowed.
THE CATHOLIC TELEGRAPH
Volume 1
October 22, 1831
Volume 1
October 22, 1831
INTERESTING ANECDOTE
OF A FEMALE CONVERT
OF A FEMALE CONVERT
The following is an interesting recital given by a young Lady of her own past errors, and her sincere repentance. “You request,” says she, writing to her friend, “that I would favor you with a short account of my conversion, or rather, of the mercies of God towards me. I comply with your request; and you are at liberty to shew to others the history which I now send you."
Alas! how unfortunately did I begin my career! My mother loved me tenderly; but, not being satisfied with my conduct at home, she placed me, at the age of ten years, as a pensioner in a convent of religious ladies, distinguished for their happy method of educating youth in the path of perfection. With me, however, their method failed: all my endeavors were directed to the turning of my school-fellows from the line of duty: in this I too often succeeded. The exercises of religion I looked upon with disgust; and it was soon perceived that the practices of piety were, to me, a kind of punishment. The director of the young ladies did every thing to inspire me with sentiments of religion; but his advice was entirely lost upon me. Many of my companions, by his sage direction, were formed into so many saints; while I became a complete demon.
The time came for preparing us for our first communion; but, though I had received a full instruction in religion, and was much older than the rest, being in my fourteenth year, I was not admitted to the holy table. My mother, who sensibly felt this refusal, sent to have a private interview with me. Our affliction was naturally great; she made me very few reproaches, but expressed her feelings by a flood of tears. I was softened, and promised to amend; but I never fulfilled this promise, persuading myself that it would be impossible to renounce my habits of sin, particularly one dreadful vice to which I was attached. I therefore resolved to play the hypocrite. I deceived the guide of my conscience, and thus contrived, for the time, to satisfy my mother. The illusion, however, did not continue long: a young lady of great piety informed the superior that I offered to lend her some bad books. Upon this, my box was searched, and in it were discovered several obscene publications. My mother was desired to withdraw me, as my diseased sheep infects the whole flock, and I was accordingly removed from the convent. Some months after, my mother had the weakness to yield to my entreaties, and conduct me to the theatre; but this was taking a wrong method to stifle in me the love of the world: my passion increased; from the theatre I flew to the ball, and from the ball to the opera. Thus my ruin was completed.
My mother died.—l was then twenty years of age, and possessed of a good fortune. The gentleman who married me was deserving of a virtuous wife, and of every domestic happiness; but I proved a continual cross and uneasiness to him, by my little attention to his advice, the indecency of my attire, my extravagance, my passion for gaming, at which I lost considerable sums, and by my bad choice of company. I soon lost my husband, my unfortunate husband, whose value I knew not until I no longer possessed him. Alas! I was perhaps the cause of his death, by continuing, as I did, my irregular course of life! I wept, indeed, at his death; but my tears were soon dried up. I again gave myself up to my former vanity: I dashed into the very vortex of worldly society; and the praises which vile flatterers were continually bestowing upon my beautiful hands and handsome figure, inflamed me with a fresh desire of pleasing. The different mirrors, placed at frequent intervals in my apartments, served to fan the flame; I gazed with pleasure, and believed that what my flatterers said was time.
At length—oh! how admirable was the providence of God in my behalf ! a lady, whose piety was of the most amiable kind, who had lately lost her husband, and, like myself was only twenty-four years of age, sought my acquaintance, solely with a view to bring me back to the path of virtue. At the approach of a solemn festival of the Church, she spoke to me of disposing myself for the sacrament. At this I laughed, and told her that I had never been at confession since I left the convent. She then pressed me in so earnest a manner to speak to her confessor, that through mere complaisance I assented.
This holy and zealous priest, at my very first address, perceived that I had been a complete worldling; and, by my first replies, no less clearly understood that I was not yet a penitent. He spoke to me of the necessity of converting myself to God, and the best means of promoting my conversion. ‘You must,‘ said he, ‘mortify that body which you have hitherto made your idol; as it is only by this means you can bring it into subjection, and subdue your passions; begin, therefore, by fasting once in the week, from this time.’ I replied, ‘it is impossible for me to fast, I am under the necessity of taking often, some substantial food: fasting would kill me.’ ‘Redeem, then,’ said he,‘ your sins by abundant alms; the poor will pray for you; remember the sums you have squandered in play, and so many useless expenses.’ I answered, ‘my income is much less than it formerly was, and living is more expensive; besides, dress costs me a good deal, and I must appear like others.’ In like manner I objected to prayer and pious reading, alleging, that nothing was so irksome to me as prayer, and that whenever I attempted it I found my mind, entirely occupied with something else.‘ ‘Why, then,’ said the good man, ‘have you presented yourself to me in the confessional, if you will do nothing to which I advise you; if you will neither fast, nor give alms, nor undertake the work of your conversion? Remember, that Jesus Christ has said, ‘unless you do penance you shall certainly perish.’ If you refuse in this life to offer satisfaction to the justice of that God, whom you have so grievously offended, you must suffer eternal punishment in the flames of hell.’
Having delivered these words with an air of dignity and authority, he paused for a moment. I remained silent, covered with confusion, and not knowing what to say; though at the same time feeling the full force of the truths which he had delivered. He then resumed his address, and said, ‘Are you disposed to perform the penance which I shall now enjoin you, for the purpose of procuring from God the grace of your conversion? It consists not in fasting, or aims, or prayers, or spiritual reading; will you accept of it?‘ ‘Yes,’ l replied, ‘I will, I promise to fulfil it;’ for the grace of God had begun to touch my heart. ‘This, then,’ added he, ‘is the penance I enjoin you each morning and evening for eight days; you will then come to me again, and tell me the effect it has produced in you. First, each morning and night, wash your hands with essenced water, and, at the same time, say to yourself, ‘beautiful hands, you will soon moulder into dust. Repeat these words for the space of half an hour, while you employ yourself in some manual labour. Secondly, after this, for a quarter of an hour, sitting down, with a looking-glass in your hand, or kneeling before a mirror, say, from time to time, ‘handsome, face and head, you will soon resemble a death's head.’ ‘I advise you, moreover, during these eight days, not to make any visit, except of great necessity.’
I promised faithfully to fulfil his advice, and he dismissed me with these words, which penetrated to the very bottom of my soul, ‘Go, my child; do! what I have recommended to you; I trust, all will be well with you in a little time.’ As soon as I left the confessional, I threw j myself upon my knees. Alas! this was a posture I had not been in for a long time; I continued in it for more than a quarter of an hour,! agitated in an extraordinary manner, with my heart ready to burst with grief, yet unable to weep. My charitable friend accompanied me home; I wished to be silent; when she spoke to me, I answered her with a ‘yes' or ‘no.’ But: when we had reached my house, and were now alone in my chamber, pressed her hand, as if a mark of grateful acknowledgement for her charity. She had the consolation to see me pour forth a flood of tears, and I saw that she wept with me. Soon after, I found myself able to open my heart to her; I told her all that the man of God had said to me, and testified the repugnance I felt at performing the penance which I had promised to discharge.
‘Take courage,’ said she, ‘begin by taking the mirror in your hands, while I in the next room, will read a chapter in the ‘Following of Christ’ which I have with me; in ten minutes I will return to you. Oh! how long did these ten minutes appear! I had applied no rouge to my face that day, nor did it want any; it was red as scarlet. My good friend returned; I pressed her to let me hear some instructive Iesson from the book she held in her hand. In the chapter which she opened by chance, I found many truths, which seemed written purposely for me. Finding myself touched with them in the most sensible manner, I begged her to procure me the same work, signifying my intent of reading a chapter in it daily. She immediately requested me to accept that very volume the ‘Imitation, or Following of Christ,’ which has now for two years been my favourite book. ‘My friend,’ continued she, ‘will you work one hour with me?’ ‘Have you any work to finish me with?’ I confessed that I seldom employed myself in work, and was a very poor hand at my needle. ‘Well,’ said she, ‘you must now make a beginning; let us each weave some linen for the poor.’ During our work we kept strict silence for a quarter of an hour this was proposed by my friend, no doubt with the intention of giving me the more leisure to repeat interiorly, ‘beautiful hands, you soon moulder into dust.’
My virtuous friend quitted not her charge; while I, already, happily touched by the grace of God, sighed for the day when I was again to present myself before the man of God, offer him the fruits of his former counsel, and receive from him new lessons of virtue. The holy man blessed God a thousand times for having struck in so forcible a manner my light and irreligious heart; and followed up with ardent zeal, the noble work which he had begun. With that prudence and discretion which form the character of the true shepherd of souls, he conducted this poor strayed sheep back to the fold, by the way of mercy and compassion. At length, he pronounced the happy sentence of reconciliation over me, and admitted me to the banquet of love and mercy. Thus anew day of bright consolation beamed on this child of darkness; a holy life, full of works of mercy for the poor and distressed, succeeded her former days of vanity and folly; the most noble sacrifices fulfilled and confirmed her generous resolution; her piety gained strength from frequent and fervent exercises; and, after two years of happy perseverance in virtue, and the most striking progress in the science of salvation, this young convert was looked up to, in the place where she lived, as a model of perfect piety.
Alas! how unfortunately did I begin my career! My mother loved me tenderly; but, not being satisfied with my conduct at home, she placed me, at the age of ten years, as a pensioner in a convent of religious ladies, distinguished for their happy method of educating youth in the path of perfection. With me, however, their method failed: all my endeavors were directed to the turning of my school-fellows from the line of duty: in this I too often succeeded. The exercises of religion I looked upon with disgust; and it was soon perceived that the practices of piety were, to me, a kind of punishment. The director of the young ladies did every thing to inspire me with sentiments of religion; but his advice was entirely lost upon me. Many of my companions, by his sage direction, were formed into so many saints; while I became a complete demon.
The time came for preparing us for our first communion; but, though I had received a full instruction in religion, and was much older than the rest, being in my fourteenth year, I was not admitted to the holy table. My mother, who sensibly felt this refusal, sent to have a private interview with me. Our affliction was naturally great; she made me very few reproaches, but expressed her feelings by a flood of tears. I was softened, and promised to amend; but I never fulfilled this promise, persuading myself that it would be impossible to renounce my habits of sin, particularly one dreadful vice to which I was attached. I therefore resolved to play the hypocrite. I deceived the guide of my conscience, and thus contrived, for the time, to satisfy my mother. The illusion, however, did not continue long: a young lady of great piety informed the superior that I offered to lend her some bad books. Upon this, my box was searched, and in it were discovered several obscene publications. My mother was desired to withdraw me, as my diseased sheep infects the whole flock, and I was accordingly removed from the convent. Some months after, my mother had the weakness to yield to my entreaties, and conduct me to the theatre; but this was taking a wrong method to stifle in me the love of the world: my passion increased; from the theatre I flew to the ball, and from the ball to the opera. Thus my ruin was completed.
My mother died.—l was then twenty years of age, and possessed of a good fortune. The gentleman who married me was deserving of a virtuous wife, and of every domestic happiness; but I proved a continual cross and uneasiness to him, by my little attention to his advice, the indecency of my attire, my extravagance, my passion for gaming, at which I lost considerable sums, and by my bad choice of company. I soon lost my husband, my unfortunate husband, whose value I knew not until I no longer possessed him. Alas! I was perhaps the cause of his death, by continuing, as I did, my irregular course of life! I wept, indeed, at his death; but my tears were soon dried up. I again gave myself up to my former vanity: I dashed into the very vortex of worldly society; and the praises which vile flatterers were continually bestowing upon my beautiful hands and handsome figure, inflamed me with a fresh desire of pleasing. The different mirrors, placed at frequent intervals in my apartments, served to fan the flame; I gazed with pleasure, and believed that what my flatterers said was time.
At length—oh! how admirable was the providence of God in my behalf ! a lady, whose piety was of the most amiable kind, who had lately lost her husband, and, like myself was only twenty-four years of age, sought my acquaintance, solely with a view to bring me back to the path of virtue. At the approach of a solemn festival of the Church, she spoke to me of disposing myself for the sacrament. At this I laughed, and told her that I had never been at confession since I left the convent. She then pressed me in so earnest a manner to speak to her confessor, that through mere complaisance I assented.
This holy and zealous priest, at my very first address, perceived that I had been a complete worldling; and, by my first replies, no less clearly understood that I was not yet a penitent. He spoke to me of the necessity of converting myself to God, and the best means of promoting my conversion. ‘You must,‘ said he, ‘mortify that body which you have hitherto made your idol; as it is only by this means you can bring it into subjection, and subdue your passions; begin, therefore, by fasting once in the week, from this time.’ I replied, ‘it is impossible for me to fast, I am under the necessity of taking often, some substantial food: fasting would kill me.’ ‘Redeem, then,’ said he,‘ your sins by abundant alms; the poor will pray for you; remember the sums you have squandered in play, and so many useless expenses.’ I answered, ‘my income is much less than it formerly was, and living is more expensive; besides, dress costs me a good deal, and I must appear like others.’ In like manner I objected to prayer and pious reading, alleging, that nothing was so irksome to me as prayer, and that whenever I attempted it I found my mind, entirely occupied with something else.‘ ‘Why, then,’ said the good man, ‘have you presented yourself to me in the confessional, if you will do nothing to which I advise you; if you will neither fast, nor give alms, nor undertake the work of your conversion? Remember, that Jesus Christ has said, ‘unless you do penance you shall certainly perish.’ If you refuse in this life to offer satisfaction to the justice of that God, whom you have so grievously offended, you must suffer eternal punishment in the flames of hell.’
Having delivered these words with an air of dignity and authority, he paused for a moment. I remained silent, covered with confusion, and not knowing what to say; though at the same time feeling the full force of the truths which he had delivered. He then resumed his address, and said, ‘Are you disposed to perform the penance which I shall now enjoin you, for the purpose of procuring from God the grace of your conversion? It consists not in fasting, or aims, or prayers, or spiritual reading; will you accept of it?‘ ‘Yes,’ l replied, ‘I will, I promise to fulfil it;’ for the grace of God had begun to touch my heart. ‘This, then,’ added he, ‘is the penance I enjoin you each morning and evening for eight days; you will then come to me again, and tell me the effect it has produced in you. First, each morning and night, wash your hands with essenced water, and, at the same time, say to yourself, ‘beautiful hands, you will soon moulder into dust. Repeat these words for the space of half an hour, while you employ yourself in some manual labour. Secondly, after this, for a quarter of an hour, sitting down, with a looking-glass in your hand, or kneeling before a mirror, say, from time to time, ‘handsome, face and head, you will soon resemble a death's head.’ ‘I advise you, moreover, during these eight days, not to make any visit, except of great necessity.’
I promised faithfully to fulfil his advice, and he dismissed me with these words, which penetrated to the very bottom of my soul, ‘Go, my child; do! what I have recommended to you; I trust, all will be well with you in a little time.’ As soon as I left the confessional, I threw j myself upon my knees. Alas! this was a posture I had not been in for a long time; I continued in it for more than a quarter of an hour,! agitated in an extraordinary manner, with my heart ready to burst with grief, yet unable to weep. My charitable friend accompanied me home; I wished to be silent; when she spoke to me, I answered her with a ‘yes' or ‘no.’ But: when we had reached my house, and were now alone in my chamber, pressed her hand, as if a mark of grateful acknowledgement for her charity. She had the consolation to see me pour forth a flood of tears, and I saw that she wept with me. Soon after, I found myself able to open my heart to her; I told her all that the man of God had said to me, and testified the repugnance I felt at performing the penance which I had promised to discharge.
‘Take courage,’ said she, ‘begin by taking the mirror in your hands, while I in the next room, will read a chapter in the ‘Following of Christ’ which I have with me; in ten minutes I will return to you. Oh! how long did these ten minutes appear! I had applied no rouge to my face that day, nor did it want any; it was red as scarlet. My good friend returned; I pressed her to let me hear some instructive Iesson from the book she held in her hand. In the chapter which she opened by chance, I found many truths, which seemed written purposely for me. Finding myself touched with them in the most sensible manner, I begged her to procure me the same work, signifying my intent of reading a chapter in it daily. She immediately requested me to accept that very volume the ‘Imitation, or Following of Christ,’ which has now for two years been my favourite book. ‘My friend,’ continued she, ‘will you work one hour with me?’ ‘Have you any work to finish me with?’ I confessed that I seldom employed myself in work, and was a very poor hand at my needle. ‘Well,’ said she, ‘you must now make a beginning; let us each weave some linen for the poor.’ During our work we kept strict silence for a quarter of an hour this was proposed by my friend, no doubt with the intention of giving me the more leisure to repeat interiorly, ‘beautiful hands, you soon moulder into dust.’
My virtuous friend quitted not her charge; while I, already, happily touched by the grace of God, sighed for the day when I was again to present myself before the man of God, offer him the fruits of his former counsel, and receive from him new lessons of virtue. The holy man blessed God a thousand times for having struck in so forcible a manner my light and irreligious heart; and followed up with ardent zeal, the noble work which he had begun. With that prudence and discretion which form the character of the true shepherd of souls, he conducted this poor strayed sheep back to the fold, by the way of mercy and compassion. At length, he pronounced the happy sentence of reconciliation over me, and admitted me to the banquet of love and mercy. Thus anew day of bright consolation beamed on this child of darkness; a holy life, full of works of mercy for the poor and distressed, succeeded her former days of vanity and folly; the most noble sacrifices fulfilled and confirmed her generous resolution; her piety gained strength from frequent and fervent exercises; and, after two years of happy perseverance in virtue, and the most striking progress in the science of salvation, this young convert was looked up to, in the place where she lived, as a model of perfect piety.
Sincerely yours
in Jesus through Mary,
Mike Rizzio
in Jesus through Mary,
Mike Rizzio
Imitate Mary
Become like Jesus
Live for the Triune God
Seek the Light of Our Lord Jesus Christ
See you on the High Ground!
* - J.M.J. + O.B.T. + M.G.R. stands for:
Jesus, Mary and Joseph;
O Beata Trinitas;
St. Michael, St. Gabriel and St. Raphael
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